I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR BEING HERE. IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO OUR FAMILY.

MANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT’S LIKE, AND IN THE FUTURE, I WILL DO MORE TO HELP OTHERS, AS YOU HAVE HELPED MY FATHER, MY FAMILY AND ME.

A FRIEND ONCE TOLD ME I AM NOT A MAN OF FEW WORDS. IT ALMOST SOUNDED LIKE A COMPLIMENT. TODAY, I AM MORE INCLINED TO BE QUIET. HOWEVER, I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS TIME TO DESCRIBE WHAT THE MAN I AM PROUD TO BE NAMED AFTER MEANS TO THIS FAMILY.

MY FATHER HAD A HUGE HEART. ONE THING I KNOW I INHERITED FROM HIM IS THE TROUBLE HE HAD SAYING “NO.” DAD CAME ACROSS A LITTLE TOUGH SOMETIMES, BUT I WOULD ALWAYS TELL EVERYONE: “IF YOU JUST ASK HIM YOURSELF, HE PROBABLY WON’T SAY NO.” HE LIKED TO HELP, AND HE DID, ALL THROUGH HIS LIFE. WHEN I HEAR OTHER PEOPLE SAY HE WAS LIKE A FATHER TO THEM, I REALIZE HOW PRIVILEGED I AM.

IT’S BEEN SAID THAT MY FATHER WAS LOUD AND BOISTEROUS. WELL, HE WAS. WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, HE WOULD SOMETIMES EMBARRASS ME IN PUBLIC. MY BROTHER JASON WILL AGREE THAT GOING TO BUY A CAR WITH DAD WAS EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE. WE PUT UP WITH IT BECAUSE WE KNEW HE WAS HELPING US GET A BETTER DEAL. HE ALSO USED TO MAKE US WANT TO HIDE BY MAKING A FUSS IF SOMETHING DIDN’T GO RIGHT WHEN WE WENT OUT TO EAT. BUT THINGS CHANGED AFTER HE RECEIVED HIS DIAGNOSIS. HE STOPPED GETTING UPSET OVER SMALL THINGS. HOWEVER, ONE DAY WILL ALWAYS STAND OUT FOR ME. IT WAS AFTER HIS FIRST ROUND OF TREATMENTS. WE WENT OUT TO A RESTAURANT FOR MOM’S BIRTHDAY AND WAITED A LONG TIME. I THINK THEY GAVE OUR TABLE AWAY TO ANOTHER PARTY. DAD STARTED TO SAY STUFF LIKE HE USED TO, AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I WAS GLAD TO BE EMBARRASSED BY HIM. I KNEW HE FELT A LITTLE MORE LIKE HIS OLD SELF, AND I REALIZED HOW MUCH I HAD MISSED THAT.

AFTER DAD LEARNED HE HAD CANCER, IT WAS ALSO CLEAR HE BEGAN FOCUSING ON WHAT WAS MOST IMPORTANT IN HIS LIFE…. IN THE PAST, MY SISTER DENISE FOUGHT WITH HIM BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T SAY “I LOVE YOU”…. WELL, AFTER HE GOT SICK, THAT “I LOVE YOU” WAS AT THE END OF EVERY CONVERSATION AND PHONE CALL WE HAD WITH HIM. TO DAD, LOVE MEANT DOING NICE THINGS FOR HIS FAMILY. HE SPOILED US, ESPECIALLY AT CHRISTMAS. FIRST, HE MADE IT SPECIAL FOR ME. THEN DENISE CAME ALONG TO KEEP SANTA COMING TO OUR HOUSE. LATER, MOM GOT PREGNANT WITH JASON. THAT MEANT THERE WOULD BE ANOTHER LITTLE ONE IN THE HOUSE TO SPOIL. SO… AS DAD TOLD MOM, “WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE CHRISTMAS.” HE LOVED CHRISTMAS…. MUST HAVE BEEN WHY HE PLANNED IT THAT WAY.

DAD WAS A WORKAHOLIC, BUT EVERY YEAR HE ALWAYS TOOK US TO DISNEYLAND, AND WE WOULD ALSO GO ON A DAY FISHING TRIP. ANTICIPATING THESE TRIPS MADE THEM EVEN MORE SPECIAL. BUT MOM WANTED MORE. IN 1991, SHE PUT HER FOOT DOWN AND SAID “CHUCK, WE’RE GOING TO START GOING ON REAL VACATIONS.. LIKE TO HAWAII.. OR I’M GOING WITHOUT YOU!” WELL, SINCE HE HAD NO CHOICE, WE ALL WENT. NEEDLESS TO SAY, HE LOVED IT, AND THIS STARTED A NEW SUMMER TRADITION.

WE TALKED HIM INTO GOING TO FLORIDA TO ENJOY DISNEY WORLD ONE YEAR. HE ENDED UP GETTING COVERED IN MOSQUITO BITES AND WAS MISERABLE FOR HALF THE TRIP. YEARS LATER, I WORRIED WE WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO TALK HIM INTO GOING BACK THERE FOR MY WEDDING. BUT WE DID, AND JULIE AND I WILL TREASURE THOSE MEMORIES FOREVER. WE KNEW THIS LAST SUMMER WAS PROBABLY OUR LAST OPPORTUNITY TO GO ON A FAMILY VACATION. IN BETWEEN TREATMENTS, WE ALL WENT ON A DISNEY CRUISE: DAD AND MOM, JULIE AND ME, DENISE AND JIM, JASON AND LINDSEY, AND THE GRANDKIDS DANE, NATHAN AND JACOB. IT WAS QUITE POSSIBLY THE BEST WEEK HE HAD AFTER HIS TREATMENTS BEGAN AND BEFORE HE SUDDENLY GOT WORSE. WE HAD A GREAT TIME. FOR ALL OF US, IT WAS LIKE “THERE’S NOWHERE ELSE I’D RATHER BE, AND NOTHING ELSE I’D RATHER BE DOING IN THE WHOLE WORLD RIGHT NOW.”

BEFORE AND AFTER OUR TRIP, DAD GOT SAD A LOT THAT HE WAS LEAVING US. HE SAID HE WISHED HE COULD SEE HIS GRANDCHILDREN GROW UP. HE WILL. HE’LL SPEND HIS TIME LOOKING IN ON THEM… THAT’S OF COURSE, WHEN THE HORSES AREN’T RUNNING! FOR DAD AND HIS GRANDKIDS, SHARING THE DREAM OF “FINDING NEMO” MADE THIS PAST YEAR THAT MUCH MORE SPECIAL AND ENTERTAINING. EVERY TIME WE SEE THAT LITTLE FISH, IT’LL MAKE US THINK OF HIM. AND THERE ARE PLENTY OF THOSE LITTLE FISH AROUND TO REMIND US.

DAD WAS VERY CLOSE TO MY MOTHER’S SIDE OF THE FAMILY, I GREW UP CLOSE TO MY UNCLES, MUCH AS MY NEPHEWS ARE NOW CLOSE TO ME. IN THE LAST FEW YEARS, WE LOST TWO VERY SPECIAL UNCLES: DOYLE MILLER AND RON WATT. THEIR PASSING MADE ME THINK ABOUT MY OWN MORTALITY. I CAME TO THE CONCLUSION I FELT I HAD ACCOMPLISHED ENOUGH IN LIFE TO BE CONTENT IF IT WAS MY TIME TO GO. SO, WHEN MY FATHER RECEIVED HIS DIAGNOSIS, I TRIED TO SHOW HIM SOME OF HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN THE HOPES OF MAKING HIM FEEL BETTER. THAT’S WHY I PUT TOGETHER THIS PICTURE AND GAVE IT TO HIM ON HIS LAST FATHER’S DAY. I WANTED DAD TO SEE HIMSELF AT HIS BEST, SURROUNDED BY SOME OF HIS MANY ACCOMPLISHMENTS INCLUDING THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE: HIS FAMILY. THE IMAGES WERE TO REMIND HIM OF WHAT EACH US WAS LIKE AT THE AGE OF 10, AND THEN… HOW WE ALL TURNED OUT. WHEN HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL THE LAST MONTH OF HIS LIFE, I TAPED THAT PICTURE TO THE CEILING ABOVE HIS BED TO HELP HIM THINK OF THE GOOD THINGS, INSTEAD OF JUST STARING AT CEILING TILE. I LIKE TO THINK IT HELPED.

JUST BEFORE THAT LAST MONTH, DAD’S CANCER QUICKLY SPREAD. EVERY COUPLE OF DAYS HE LOST THE ABILITY TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. BUT UP UNTIL THE VERY END, HE LET US KNOW HE WANTED US TO KEEP DOING EVERYTHING WE COULD FOR HIM, THOUGH IT WAS OBVIOUS HE WAS NOT GOING TO RECOVER. WHEN HE COULD NO LONGER TALK, HE WOULD STILL SPEAK HIS MIND BY NODDING HIS HEAD AND USING HIS EYES. THE LOOK HE GAVE US MADE IT CLEAR HE LOVED US SO MUCH, AND HE WAS SATISFIED JUST HAVING US THERE BESIDE HIM. HE WASN’T READY TO LET GO OF THAT. IT SEEMED AS IF OUR LOVE WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM WANT TO STICK AROUND AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. THE LAST DAY HE WAS CONSCIOUS, HE MOUTHED THE WORDS “I LOVE YOU” TO MY SISTER DENISE. I THINK THAT MORE THAN MADE UP FOR ALL THOSE YEARS OF FEELING IT BUT NOT SAYING IT OUT LOUD. WELL, DAD, THIS ALSO GOES WITHOUT SAYING, BUT I’M GOING TO SAY IT ANYWAY: “WE LOVE YOU.”